Week of May 28, 2000

I have returned from Charlotte and Lowe's Motor Speedway where I enjoyed a very successful week at the Coca-Cola 600. In my job I actually leave just after the race starts. Last night was no different, I left about one hour into the race and as I drove about an hour north of the track I ran into a heck of a rain storm. Many vehicles had elected to pull off to the side of the road and wait the storm out, but not me, I dropped my speed to about 35-40 MPH and trudged safely through. It was like the storm was just in one particular county and luckily not much of this storm drifted south to the track. They did have a small rain delay during the race, but there is no way this same storm hit the track. It would have taken a couple of hours to dry the track if the storm I drove through had hit the track.

Bobby Labonte is still a bridesmaid. Once again, Bobby failed to close the deal on a Winston No Bull 5 victory and it's million dollar bonus. Bobby has been in the Winston No Bull 5 more than any other Winston Cup driver.

Matt Kenseth became the second rookie to win a Winston Cup event this year. I can't remember when that's ever happened before.

Lowe's Motor Speedway and in particular, the Coca-Cola 600, has been good to drivers seeking their first wins over the years. Recently, Jeff Gordon, Bobby Labonte and now Kenseth has notched their first career victory in the series' longest and most grueling race.

For a while it looked like Dale Earnhardt, Jr. was going to take a May sweep at Charlotte. He won the Winston and the pole for the Coke 600, but came up short in the race.

While I was in Charlotte Suzy had told me the kids headed off the Baden lake with the neighbors for a long weekend, which allowed Suzy to get some much needed rest I am sure. The school year and it's early morning and late nights take its toll and her, so I am happy she was able to rest up.

With the kids at the lake and Suzy sleeping I was able to get in my walk earlier today and since time was not at a premium and the weather very nice, I took the opportunity to add a little distance. In fact, Suzy was arising just about the time I returned, so things worked out perfectly.

She's also going to be accompanying me on a business trip to Chicago later this week. We have some friends in Chicago and it's a great town. Plus, we'll be returning home this weekend on the company plane where she'll be free to smoke, a please you can not enjoy on a domestic air carrier these days.

I have been continuing to work on our trip to Disney this fall. To date I think I have arranged our air travel and lodging by utilizing frequent flyer and frequent stayer (is that even a word?) points I have amassed in my travel. Thankfully there is some benefit to being gone so much of the time. Too bad there are not any deals on Disney park admissions.

And since I've been gone for a few days it was time to clean out the mailbox.

In May's Republican primary there were two close races, one for commissioner of Labor and one for Commissioner of Agriculture, so the state spent several million bucks so these candidates could have their day and to make sure the May primary was accurate.

I remember to vote at about 5 PM today and I was voter no. 9 at my precinct. I spend a bit of time there talking to the precinct workers, whom I know, about how boring their day must have been. They were glad to see me, to break the boredom, I guess.

I am headed off to Chicago in the AM for the Winston Drag Event in Joilett, Ill. The Route 66 Raceway is one of the nicest on the Winston Drag circuit and I look forward to going there. An added benefit is I enjoy visiting Chicago in the spring and have a couple of friends there as well. You can follow the results of this weekend's race here.

Noah's Ark - 2000

It is the year 2000 and Noah lives in the United States. The Lord speaks to Noah and says, "In one year, I am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with water until all is destroyed. But I want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on the earth.

Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark."

In a flash of lightning, God delivered the specifications for an Ark. Fearful and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed to build the Ark. God said, "Remember you must have everything aboard in one year."

Exactly one year later, a fierce storm cloud covered the earth and all the seas of the earth went into a tumult. The Lord saw Noah sitting in his front yard weeping.

"Noah," He shouted, "where is the Ark?"

"Lord, please forgive me!" cried Noah. "I did my best, but there were problems. First, I had to get a permit for construction and your plans did not comply with the codes. I had to hire an engineering firm and redraw the plans. Then I got into a fight with OSHA over whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler system and floatation devices. Then my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning ordinances by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission. I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to protect the Spotted Owl. I finally convinced the U.S. Forest Service that I needed the wood to save the owls. However, the Fish and Wildlife Service won't let me catch any owls. So, no owls.

The carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Union. Now I have 16 carpenters on the Ark, but still no owls.

When I started rounding up the other animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me only taking two of each kind aboard.

Just when I got the suit dismissed, the EPA notified me that I could not complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take very kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of the universe.

Then the Army Corps of Engineers demanded a map of the proposed new flood plan. I sent them a globe.

Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that I am practicing discrimination by not taking godless, unbelieving people aboard!

The IRS has seized my assets, claiming that I'm building the Ark in preparation to flee the country to avoid paying taxes. I just got a notice from the state that I owe them some kind of user tax and failed to register the Ark as a "recreational water craft."

Finally, the ACLU got the courts to issue an injunction against further construction of the Ark, saying that since God is flooding the earth, it is a religious event and therefore, unconstitutional. I really don't think I can finish the Ark for another 5 or 6 years!" Noah wailed.

The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine and the seas began the calm. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up hopefully. "You mean you are not going to destroy the earth, Lord."

"No," said the Lord sadly. "I don't have to. The government already has.

Steve's Current Notes